I am large, I contain multitudes.

  • I revived my Pinterest account yesterday for the express purpose of gathering more low-sodium recipes, and then ten minutes later I shoved half a bag of pizza rolls into my face.
  • I’ve adopted the attitude that it really isn’t fair to have negative attitudes toward people I don’t even know, and yet I have directed some rather foul epithets at hockey players on my television in the past three weeks.
  • Even though I’m feeling much healthier after giving up booze and coffee, I still haven’t been making the effort to exercise. I think I need somebody to whip me into shape.
  • Shape it up.
  • Get straight.
  • Go forward.
  • Move ahead.
  • Try to detect it.
  • It’s not too late.
  • To whip it.
  • Whip it good.

A question for Red Wings fans

I’ve been thinking about how great this year’s playoffs have been so far, in that both of our series have been against teams that we really hate and I’m enjoying how fun it is to feel that visceral dislike for an opponent in games that are really important. I’m wary about how lame the next few seasons after realignment might be because I just don’t have that type of animosity built up for teams like the Senators (meh) or the Sabres (BO-RING). How long do you think it will take for us to develop similar rivalries in the Eastern Conference?

In case you were curious about my underwear

I bought some boxer briefs yesterday and I’m wearing them for the first time today. Maybe it’s just the newness of it, but right now they make me feel like I could make sweet love to the whole world.

Brief thoughts on the news we all expected

  • I do not share the pessimism that most everyone on my feed seems to have.
  • I think David Karp closing his official blog statement with “Fuck yeah, David” was sophomoric.
  • I think Yahoo’s statement about not wanting to screw things up was adorable.
  • I trust Marissa Mayer.
  • If it is in your nature to complain, I think you should wait until actual changes get made before doing so.